Tips for Parents Raising Children with Special Needs

Seeking Professional Guidance for Your Child’s Development

With the help of special recommendations, advice, and instructions from a defectologist, social pedagogue, doctor, or rehabilitologist, gradually and purposefully:

• Teach the child alternative means of communication.
• Teach basic rules of behavior.
• Instill self-care skills.
• Develop skills to overcome stress.
• Identify and develop creative abilities.
• Develop visual, auditory, and tactile perception.

Create an environment of emotional security

• The child should be raised in an atmosphere of love and good relationships among all family members.
• It’s important to adhere to a consistent daily routine.

Attend support groups and mutual aid groups where one can openly express their thoughts.

Parents should learn to:

• Respect the child.
• Accept them as they are.
• Praise and encourage them to learn new things.
• Stimulate action through play.
• Talk to the child, listen to them, and observe them.
• Not fear for every moment of their life.
• Not give in to all the child’s whims and demands.
• Be realistic about their own capabilities.
• Support and help each other.
• Not forget about themselves, maintain a positive attitude, and develop a sense of humor.
• Take a time-out when needed.

Main Conditions

• A healthy family atmosphere, its tone, and overall direction.
• Trust in other children, granting them independence.
• Sensitivity of children towards the eldest family members – grandmother and grandfather.
• Consistency of all adults’ demands in their attitude towards children.

Prohibited Ways of Addressing a Child

• How many times do I have to tell you?
• I said – do it!
• Don’t you understand?..
• All kids are kids, but you…
• What did I do to deserve this punishment?
• Don’t interfere when you can’t do it…
• Who do you think you are?..
• Can’t you remember that…?

Necessary Ways of Addressing a Child

• Let’s decide together…
• What do you think?..
• My dear…
• You came up with that so well…
• I’m so grateful to fate that you’re with me…
• I’m sure you can do it…
• You’ll succeed…
• I always knew you were smart…

• Believe in the uniqueness of your child, that they are singular, unique, unlike any other, and not your exact copy. Therefore, don’t demand the realization of your life program and the achievement of your goals from them. Let them live their own life.
• Allow them to be themselves, with their flaws, vulnerabilities, and virtues. Accept them as they are.
• Emphasize their strong qualities.
• Don’t hesitate to show your love to your child, let them know that you will love them under any circumstances.
• Don’t be afraid to “fall in love” with your little one: put them on your lap, look into their eyes, hug and kiss them when they desire it.
• When choosing disciplinary measures, resort mostly to tenderness and encouragement rather than punishment and condemnation.
• Strive to ensure that your love does not turn into permissiveness and neglect.
• Try to influence your child through requests – it’s the most effective way to give them instructions.
• Avoid mistakes in upbringing.
• Do not exceed your authority in relations with the child.
• Do not be selfish.
• Do not be lazy in your relationship with the child.
• Do not be boastful.
• Do not be overly principled.

• Never pity your child for being different from everyone else.
• Give your child your love and attention, but do not forget about other family members who also need it.
• Regardless of anything, maintain a positive attitude and perception of your child.
• Organize your household so that no one in the family feels like a “victim,” sacrificing their personal life.
• Do not shield your child from responsibilities and problems. Solve all matters together with them.
• Pay attention to your appearance. Your child should be proud of you.
• Do not be afraid to refuse your child something if you consider their demands excessive.
• Communicate with your child more often. Remember that neither television nor radio can replace you for them.
• Do not restrict your child’s communication with peers.
• Seek advice from educators and psychologists more often.
• Turn to families with children for advice. Share your experience and learn from others.
• Remember that your child will grow up someday and will have to live independently. Prepare them for independent life. Talk to them about the future.

Lately, the term “inclusive education” or “inclusive learning” is increasingly heard in the educational space.
Inclusion is the process of including all citizens in society, especially those with physical or intellectual development difficulties. It involves developing and applying methods that allow every person to equally participate in social life.

Inclusion is the process of real inclusion of persons with special needs in active social life.

Inclusive education is a comprehensive process of ensuring equal access to quality education for children with special educational needs by organizing their education in mainstream educational institutions, taking into account the individual characteristics of such children.

• Create a safe psychological atmosphere for your child’s exploration, where they could find solace for their disappointments and failures.
• Support your child’s inclination towards creativity and show empathy towards early setbacks. Avoid negative judgment of your child’s first creations.
• Be patient with unexpected ideas, respect your child’s curiosity. Try to answer all questions, even if they seem absurd to you.
• Learn yourself and teach your children how to communicate correctly.
• To learn to speak properly, one must be able to read and listen.
• Read fairy tales to your children.
• Embrace, kiss, and encourage your children—they understand and feel everything. There’s never too much love.
• Always remember that your child is an individual. They deserve respect!
• If a child feels good about themselves, they will reciprocate.
• Never give your child negative judgments about themselves: “you’re bad,” “you’re lying,” “you’re angry.” Evaluate only the action. You should say: “Your action is bad, but you’re a good and smart boy (girl), and you won’t do it again, right?”
• In your daily communication, there should be at least 20 compliments for your child.
• Always remember that your child will learn what they see in everyday life. Apply parental wisdom!

• Unconditionally accept the child: love them not because they are beautiful, smart, excel in studies, or help parents, but simply because they exist.
• Foster a positive self-attitude in the child: express your love to them, acknowledge their successes and achievements, their abilities, and individual characteristics.
• Treat the child with respect, do not demean their evolving personality. Do not use commands, orders, threats, accusations, or ridicule when communicating with the child.
• Do not interfere in the child’s affairs unless they ask for help. Your non-interference signals to them, “With you, everything is fine! You will handle it, of course!”
• If the child finds something difficult and is ready to accept help from an adult, you must definitely help them. However, only take on what the child cannot do themselves.
• Gradually but consistently, relinquish your care and responsibility for your child’s personal affairs and transfer responsibility to them.
• Allow your child to face the negative consequences of their actions or inaction. Only then will they mature and learn to be responsible for their life and actions.
• If the child experiences emotional problems and wants to talk to you about them, actively listen to them. Make sure to turn to them, try to align your and their eyes. Give the child a chance to express themselves, do not interrupt their speech. Signal to them that you are listening by paraphrasing their statements.
• If the child’s behavior causes negative emotions in you, inform them about it.
• Suppress any flashes of anger or irritation in yourself. Where irritation begins, love ends.
• Do not demand the impossible or what is difficult for the child. Align your expectations with the child’s capabilities.
• Use friendly phrases in everyday communication: “I feel good with you. I’m glad to see you. It’s great that you’re with me. I missed you.”
• Hug, caress, and embrace your child at least four to eight times a day. They will feel loved and protected in the vast and unknown world.
• The success of a child’s development with psychophysical limitations depends largely on the parents. But parents must know the peculiarities of their child and be able to work with them.
• Find ways and opportunities to care for your sick child, their upbringing, and education. It is important not to try to “normalize” the child, as failure will lead to tragedy.
• Parents should communicate with other parents who also have sick children. This will help them cope with their grief easier, overcome feelings of helplessness and loneliness.
• Love your child and play with them, raise your son or daughter as if they were ordinary children.

Travel with your child, read together, and enjoy yourselves.

• Do not expect your child to be like you or as you wish. Help them become themselves, not a copy of you.
• Do not compare your child with others, but compare them with themselves: today, tomorrow, yesterday.
• Do not expect payment from your child for everything you do for them. You gave them life. How can they repay you? Giving life to another is an irreversible act of gratitude.
• Do not transfer your injuries to your child. So as not to eat bitter bread in old age, because what you sow, you will reap.
• Do not treat your child’s problem superficially. Everyone is given their burden in life. Be sure that their burden is no less than yours, and perhaps even greater, because they don’t have the habit yet.
• Do not belittle.
• Do not punish yourself if you cannot do something for your child. Punish yourself if you can but do not.
• Remember, for a child, what is done is not enough if not everything is done.
• Learn to love other children as your own. Never do to others what you would not want done to your child.
• Love your child in any form: not talented, unsuccessful, grown-up. When you communicate with them, rejoice that a child is a celebration that is with you now.